If you thought we were finally done with talking about Metal Gear Solid at the Physics of Video Games, you’d be wrong. In fact, we are ending the column completely with some lovely Metal Gear. After talking about spaceships, pheromones, time dilation, teleportation, body control and other concepts, what could we possibly have to talk about?

Recently I have been playing a great deal of MGSV: Ground Zeroes on PS4 (the best version of the game). The game is a technological marvel in so many respects. With the surround sound turned up, the intricate sound can truly be appreciated. Sound degradation and directionality allow for accurate judgement of where enemies lie and what their patrol paths are. Controls are more responsive, intricate and intuitive than they have ever been. The lighting effects replicate real life so incredibly well. I could continue on and on about with a triumph this game is in just about ever aspect, but we have to focus on one idea.

The one concept that really struck me as an achievement, truly showing the graphical capabilities, is Snake’s well-toned, spandex-covered, rain and light accentuated, glorious butt. His butt has never looked better, it truly is magnificent. As a video game character, his butt has always been spectacular, but the graphical capabilities could never really show the true beauty until now. Those who have played every Metal Gear game have seen the butt of different Snakes quite a bit, so you know what I am talking about. Since this is a retro site, we will be looking at the backside of the Snake from MGS1, but the explanation remains the same for any of them.

Hard to go retro when you can see this glorious screenshot!

Hard to go retro when you can see this glorious screenshot!

Why is Snake’s butt so glorious? Proper exercise is the obvious answer. But we need to know why so much exercise makes his butt so amazing. So now we need to look into how muscles develop.

Muscles basically have two states they can be in: relaxed and extended. The extended state is what develops the well-toned butt. This ‘http://www.builtlean.com/2013/09/17/muscles-grow/ How do Muscles Grow’ article provides thorough insight, so let’s paraphrase. As muscles are extended with increasingly strenuous conditions (such as weight lifting), muscle fibres basically breakdown and get pushed beyond their normal limits. The muscle fibres really do get damaged. When the body rests those muscles, the body begins to repair the damage and basically over-repair so that muscles are firmer, larger and stronger (hence why it is ALWAYS encouraged to take a rest day when exercising muscle groups and why results will not be seen that well if you do one of those ’30 day challenges’ without breaks). In Snake’s case, he has done this through rigorous training and numerous missions in order to maneuver the way he does. He has also ensured not to continually push those limits, he does even to maintain size, thus ensuring he never gets too bulky. If he were to continue to push the limits, say with weights, then his butt would get bigger and bigger, this idea would probably be extended to the rest of his body as well. But in order to fit through vents and all that fun stuff only a less-bulky person could do, he maintains that size rather than push.

Another lucky thing for Snake, is that muscle development has a strong link to testosterone. Since Snake is the stereotypical ‘manly’ kind of guy, he has an excessively large amount of testosterone. His manliness, so to speak, gives him that figure for practicality and for titillation (if you’re into that sort of thing). It is rather difficult to end an article after creepily obsessing over Snake’s backside for so long. But we did it in the name of science! So here’s a picture from Bob’s Burgers.

Bob's Burgers


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Next time: Not going to be creepy.