What was the first game in your life that immediately caught your eye? I don’t mean games that sound kind of cool so you look up more about it, or franchise games where you’re excited for the next installment, I mean a game that you know nothing about yet there’s something about the screenshots or cover art that make you feel compelled to play it right then and there. I’ve had several over the years, ‘Silent Hill’ and ‘Power Stone’ to name a couple, but they were far from my first.

Imagine being a kid walking through a video store, looking to pick something out for the weekend. For those who did this, you know that it’s an hour long ordeal where you carefully read the back of each box, comparing and contrasting the pros and cons between each game while your parents slowly got frustrated because they got their RomCom/porno 45 minutes prior. It was almost unheard of to just snatch up a game without careful deliberation…

…unless it has boogers.

HERE’S WHAT I REMEMBER:

Let’s face facts, I thought the game was funny. Looking back at the burps, farts, and flicking of bright green snot balls as a weapon, it’s simplistic juvenile humor. No shit, right? I was the demographic and they catered to my every whim. I loved flicking snot at the bad guys and being flushed down toilets to reach secret levels. I loved…well, I can’t exactly remember specifics, but I remember they were gross, crass, or best of all, gross AND crass.

 

boogerman2

Some artists wish to express themselves through their work. Meanwhile others…

 

Besides remembering that the game was all toilet humor, I mostly remember the animations. At the time, I had no idea that video games had animations just like cartoons. For all I knew, game developers drew things on paper, shoved them in the console, and wished really hard hoping to get a game and not a tumor. To me, everything seemed smoother than other games. Granted, my frame of reference at the time was NES games and shit like ‘Hook’, but even then I knew that characters moves in a way that was more fluid (was that a pun? Shit I think that was a pun. I apologize and I’ll be more vigilant about avoiding them in the future).

Before my memory fades out due to time and/or booze, the last things I remember are two different levels. Well, I think they’re different, I’m not sure. The first is what I’m sure is the first level. It’s a forest, it’s dark, and I think you platform through trees. I don’t remember any of the enemies and when I try to think about who the boss was, my mind goes back to a frustrating boss battle in ‘Hook’. I can only assume it’s because ‘Hook’ was so shitty it scarred me for life.

 

hook

There’s a reason why Pandora’s box was closed.

 

The other level is a sewer, because of course it is. I distinctly remember being flushed down a toilet to reach this stage (because of course you are), but whether it was it’s own separate stage or a bonus stage, I’ve long since forgotten. I can picture the tiled background, the rusted handrails of the upper platforms, and…a rat…I think? I think you fight rats. That makes sense to me, thought whether or not it actually true is something I’m going to have to find out.

 

boogerman8

Sometimes you have to wonder if you actually WANT the answer to the question you’re asking.

 

HOW DOES IT HOLD UP?

The animations are impressive. That much has remained consistent. Whether it be the running animations, the spinning from being flushed down a toilet, or…(sigh) picking your nose and flicking it at a demon, there’s a ‘Saturday Morning Cartoon’ quality to the movement. It’s no wonder that this was the first thing I remembered after all this time; it easily taps into my nostalgia even if the rest of the game isn’t memorable.

 

boogerman5

Truly graceful.

 

The biggest downfall for me personally is the fact that there are four sections to each level. Yes they’re on the shorter side, and there are multiple paths to take, but there’s not enough variety between each sublevel to make it worth it, thus each level overstays it’s welcome, just like this sentence. It’s doesn’t help that the first stage is just a bunch of trees against a mostly black background. I’m sure it was done to free up the memory required to make everything run as smoothly as it does, but it’s just so boring to look at.

As far as gameplay is concerned, it’s still pretty solid. There’s a slight delay when jumping that I didn’t notice back in the day, but that’s slight for a criticism. I enjoyed bouncing around snot covered platforms, collecting plungers, and using a mega burp to clear out goblins for a while, but I simply got bored after about 20 minutes.

 

boogerman3

If this entertains you for longer than this screenshot, then you are a better person than me…or eight.

 

There is a time and a place for everything, and my love for ‘Boogerman’ is firmly rooted in a tinier version of my brain. It was the right amount of, well, everything I was looking for at the time. Times have changed and so have I. While I have an appreciation of the core gameplay and the obvious effort that went into what should have been a gag pitch the executives of Interplay should have immediately threw in the trash, the basic appeal is now lost on me.

That being said, when I have a kid they’re definitely playing this game.